Six Ways for Women to Stand-up for Themselves Without Feeling Like the "B" Word- Part 1
Understanding What Assertiveness is vs. Passiveness/Aggressiveness
In our first part of the Six Ways to Stand Up for Yourself Without Feeling Likethe”B” Word,it’s important that you understand the difference between being passive, aggressive and assertive in your interactions with others so that you can strive to be assertive.
Assertiveness is a way of thinking and behaving that allows you to stand up for your rights while still respecting the rights of others. There is nothing wrong or hurtfulabout being an assertive person and asking for what you want in life.
If a person is not assertive, then they may be passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive. Assertive people are listened to more often by others, and are seldom targeted as victims for workplace bullies or predators.
Workplace bullies, co-workers who like to take advantage of weaker co-workers and even predators tend totarget passive people who won’t stand up for themselves.
If you are passive, you may allow others to infringe on your rights or take advantage of your goodwill. For example, you may find that your co-workers ask you for a lot of favors that they wouldn’t dare ask others; or perhaps you have a family member that asks you to babysit for them frequently because they know you say “Yes” even if you areinconvenienced. Perhaps for some reasonyou feel obligated to put their needs ahead of your own or just want to be liked even at your own expense.
If you are the opposite of passive, you may be aggressive. Aggressive behavior puts the individuals needs ahead of everyone with a sense of disregard for others rights. While aggressive people are good about looking out for their rights and have no problem setting boundaries, they often do so in a bullying or overpowering way. Aggressive people often blame others for their problems instead of finding solutions and when faced with conflict escalate it unnecessarily.
If you’re a mixture of both passive and aggressive, then you may find that you are quiet during interactions not speaking up or setting boundaries, only later to feel resentful and taken advantage of. Passive-aggressive people often think about ways to get back at people, companies, etc. Simply put, if you don’t make your needs and desires clear, and communicate them in an assertive way, it’s hard to get what you need in life.
In Part Two of Six Ways to Stand Up for Yourself Without Feeling Likethe”B” Word for Women, we will discuss how to communicate assertively with body language and tone of voice.